YES, you read that right. School. I decided, along with my husband, family and Heavenly Father that it was time to go back and FINALLY finish my degree. So now you know my secret! Turns out, I'm a lot closer to graduating than I thought so if I behave, I should graduate in a year and a half - two years with my BACHELOR OF SCIENCE, EMPH. EXERCISE SCIENCE.There you go.
That is why I haven't taken on any new classes when 24 Hour Fitness - Provo closed and why I'm currently just subbing whenever I can!
Okay, so for my personal essay, I was assigned to pick an experience in my life that changed me, and shaped who I am now. Everyone in class has HUGE experiences that shaped them, such as a family member dying, or getting shot or something that I had never really experienced.
I'm not saying by any means that my life is perfection and I've never had a real trial- oh, not at all. I'm just saying I didn't have anything near that magnitude that I felt appropriate to write about. Does that make sense?
But, one thing came to mind over and over, and that was my first experience in a Zumba Fitness class. That moment changed my life forever. You'll see why in this essay, which has yet to have a title, but I hope you enjoy it.
(If you have any suggestions on what to title this essay, I'll gladly take those suggestions! LOVE YOU ALL.)
OH and shout out to my sisters Angie, and Ali for reading, critiquing and being part of my writing process! Another shout out for Angie for being in my story as well as part of this awesome moment in my life.
Several years ago, I found myself recovering from a
brutal knee injury and surgery, lying in bed. For years I had a looming
depression and sitting there, doing nothing, feeling like nothing, and being
visited by no one except my siblings and parents that lived less than 4 yards
away from my room left me with the impression that I was just as worthless as I
felt. Even the furniture in my room seemed to mock my loneliness. It was as if
my desk would be saying, “Hey, at least I have this lamp by my side. You’ve got
nothing, and no one.” I spent most days watching Boy Meets World, crying and
sleeping. A recovery which should have only taken two weeks to heal was now
onto the eleventh week, and after two rounds of physical therapy, I was still
left with a bum leg, a whole lot of pain and about an inch of sanity. I needed
to move, and I needed to move now. I limped to my computer and printed off a
gym pass to a nearby 24 Hour Fitness, called my older, married sister to pick
me up, me being too sore to drive; I asked my mom to help me pull shorts over
my bruised and swollen leg and to lace my beat up white and grass stained tennis
shoes and after plenty of struggle, I was off!
I walked into this new space, wide eyed in awe at how
immense this building was, and I became immediately overwhelmed by the sweaty
people smell on a hot August afternoon. I remember moseying around the front desk
and up the diamond plated stairs slowly with my sister supporting one arm and
the railing along my side supporting the other. Angie had just had her first
baby a month prior to this so between her extra baby skin, and my swollen,
horrendous sight of a knee, the two of us we were radiating insecurity as we
passed all the chiseled, fitness model bodies, all the way to the back wall
where we found ourselves on the only piece of equipment that we recognized; the
elliptical. My fluffy body swaying side to side as my weight shifted to each
leg, and my bad knee screaming with every pound of pressure it carried, I
awkwardly started my workout, if you could even call it that. Less than a few
minutes in, I heard the sound that changed me forever. The bass of a familiar
song was rattling the floor beneath my machine- it was actually most likely the
giant man across the room dropping a fully racked barbell, but I like to think
it was the music below calling to me!
I stumbled off my elliptical; the dropping of each beat
guiding my footsteps to a nearby elevator I didn’t see until now. I had
abandoned my sister in the process, leaving her confused as she chased me to
the doors of the elevator, me being in such a trance by this sound that I
didn’t even notice her asking me where I was going or how I was even walking by
myself. The doors couldn’t have opened
faster as we got to the main floor. I pushed my way out trying to ignore the
screaming pain in my leg as I followed the music that had called me from
upstairs. This
familiar sound shot waves of energy and adrenaline through my blood stream as
my gaze shot side to side as if I were in an 80’s romantic movie, looking and
searching for “the one” and I saw it- a packed room, with the glass doors fogged
up to the ceiling and dripping as if even the walls were sweating. The music
was loud and punched my heart as hard and deeply as the bass did before. I
limped up the ramp gripping the rod along the side for stability and pulled the
door open. Angie, lead the way elbowing the stuffy, dancing crowd so I could get
through to the middle of the group fitness room. All of a sudden my entire body
was consumed with the music of a familiar tune I had discovered at a Latino club
the summer before, and in that moment, it was as if I had been born to dance
these moves led by the instructor, at this very moment. I can still remember
singing out every single word to this song, and looking over to Angie who was
yelling something I couldn’t hear over my singing and the blaring speakers. The
song surged through my ears, into my heart and exploded into my appendages and
I was filled with real, pure and tangible happiness. I hadn’t felt this kind of
elation in months. I completely forgot how fluffy, ugly and insecure I felt when
I first walked into the gym, and at this exact moment, I was the star of my own
music video. Even dancing as hard as I was, I didn’t feel a single twinge of
knee pain because of how thick the energy was in the room was, and how full my
heart felt. My legs and feet moved as they had never before and I felt infinite.
Before I knew it, the class ended, the music stopped and
the crowd started to thin as people cleaned up their bags and left the room. I
stood in the middle, almost paralyzed waiting for more, not wanting this
feeling to leave! I needed to hold on to this joy as long as I could! My poor,
postpartum bodied sister panting as she collapsed against the wall behind me,
yelled out “I think I just died… I’m so out of shape!” I held my ground waiting, craving more! I
could have gone all night if it meant feeling this way for even a little while
longer.
It
was that very moment that changed the entire path of my life, forever. I quit
my high paying desk job, to certifying to teach dance fitness. I found joy in
helping others discover the music within them, just as I had found it within
myself. I personally lost over forty pounds that year, kicked my depression in
the pants. I then went on to get jobs
everywhere I could, spreading the word and the happiness I felt, and eventually
getting my dream job where it all began- 24 Hour Fitness, Provo.
What
if I hadn’t taken a chance that day? What if I hadn’t decided to go to the gym?
I ask myself that same question all the time. My entire life changed in less
than thirty minutes of loud music and Latin dance moves. Growing up, I never
enjoyed fitness or exercise or anything more than lounging. My dad is the kind
that thrives on his gym time and has dreamed of having an Arnold Schwarzenegger
body since he was 13. (You know, younger, more chiseled Arnold). He would drag
the whole family to the local rec center, all in our matching workout clothing purchased
for us almost every Christmas in hopes that we would eventually like working
out the way he did. So, again- what would have happened, had I not turned to
the gym that evening? I can honestly say, I don’t know. I have gone on to
become a personal trainer, and certified in various formats. I have embraced
health and fitness, mine as well as my students and close friends. I have the
greatest job in the world.
There’s
something freeing about dancing. There’s something even more freeing in trying
new things. When we allow change to enter in our lives, or if we welcome and
search out new things, I like to think we not only can change our own
happiness, minds and fate, but others see our joy, and set out to do the same.
I’ve seen it in my life, and in others’, as I’ve taught classes all over Utah,
of all ages, shapes and sizes; when we take a step out of our comfort zone, amazing
things happen, and great opportunities come that we otherwise would have never
had, had we not simply tried. For me, it was a August afternoon to a cumbia song
by RKM y Ken-Y. Playing loud music, and letting my body sway, shake and bop to
the beat ignited the fire I had been yearning for. When was the last time you
played a song loud enough that your body couldn’t resist moving? Dance today,
and dance publicly! When people see us freeing ourselves, and letting our
bodies move the way they want, it allows them to do the same!
There is music within us all. Not only did dance fitness save me from depression and a long, boring and painful knee recovery – music set me free.
There is music within us all. Not only did dance fitness save me from depression and a long, boring and painful knee recovery – music set me free.
“Dance-
dance often. Because when you express yourself and you allow yourself that freedom,
you’re giving a gift to the world and you’re allowing yourself to just be who
you are.” [1]
